Some rat has been pilfering my orange and black locker at Patton, contaminating my supply of raw hotdogs, peanuts and sharkteeth, so I set a trap--a rat-trap--only instead of catching a rat I caught a mouse--"Anon Y. Mous." The only thing known about Anon Y. Mous is that he/she is a very talented mouse who writes poetry in his/her spare time. It is certain, however, that JOANNE SCARBOROUGH is the only go-between between Anon Y. Mous and the rest of the world (like Clark Kent and Superman), hence it would seem that the similarity between Anon Y. Mous and Joanne Scarborough is more than just "passing."

ABOUT THE MAA AWARDS BANQUET--1965 by Anon Y. Mous

While the grown-ups talked and the children laughed,
The caterers worked on and on;
Then Tom McCallum, our host, rose to say:
"Hurry up, let's eat sometime before dawn!"
So the food was served and we finally ate,
(The head table even went back for more)
Then some of the people got up from their chairs,
And started walking right out the door.
"Hey wait!" host Tom shouted to them,
"The awards are still waiting to come!"
So everyone went back to sit down again,
And see "what in the world" would be done.
The speeches went on and on and on
(I admit though that some were quite short)
But the recipients were surely happy enough
For they were that worthy sort
That received these awards for the work and "heart"
For which Michigan swimmers are known.
A few of them felt rather badly about
Who helped develop the MAA
Should each have a chance of their very own
To stand in the spotlight on their honored day.
The awards given them alone;
For they knew in their hearts that everyone there
For winner, loser, parent or coach
Are all deserving of great praise
For advancing our Age Group opportunities
That will continue the rest of our days.
After the medals were all given out,
And the last speech was finally done,
Host Tom McCallum said "thanks" to his wife,
And told us, "Glad you could come."
But the banquet didn't really end there,
For its memory will last a long while
In the hearts of the privileged recipients,
Who received their awards with a smile.
Remembered, too, by the younger age groupers,
Who wish that they may become
The winners of the coveted Swimming Awards
As the "stars" who rise, toward the "sun."
They know that only "guts" and sacrifice
Will ever achieve that ultimate height
Of bringing back home the silver and gold
They won in the great Olympic fight.
So if you're just a sixth place winner
Don't forget, whatever you do,
That the future winners of the Banquet Awards
Will be the hardworking young kids--YOU!

And this next contribution also by Anon Y. Mous, was submitted back in June:

Ode to Brennan or is it Owed to Brennan (colds, earaches, frostbite, etc.)

Well, THAT lovely time is here again
When earaches start and colds begin;
Up at 6:30 every single day,
Those shades of blue are here to stay
Cause we're working out at Brennan, you see
So we can swim in meets successfully!--Anon Y. Mous

-3-

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